| | Subject | Date | Text | Author | | Whom Should I Marry? | 11/7/2005 | There are five principles that we can successfully use in examining not only the story of Isaac and Rebekah but in many other marriages in the Bible and they are these:
(1) Choose a True Believer;
(2) Trust God;
(3) Consider Character;
(4) Use Wisdom; and
(5) Think ahead.
1. Choose a Believer
Common sense alone should tell you that if you choose someone who does not believe in the same way that you do, or who does not share your same values, that you are creating inevitable tensions and trouble. Oil and water do not mix, and a rabbit and a fox would not make the best of friends. If you are afraid of heights you would be unwise to become the climbing partner of a mountaineer. A communist and a conservative wouldn't make good partners. You couldn't tie a husky together with a dachshund on a sled in the Antarctic. And a follower of Christ would not make a good marriage partner with an unbeliever.
The fact of that matter is that as a Christian nothing should be more important to you than your spiritual well-being. Time and time again I have known couples who had opposite religious beliefs who came to grief. Only the other day a man emailed me and told me the sorry story of what happened when he married an unbeliever. His wife has now gone because she wanted him to compromise his beliefs for the sake of the marriage. Abraham understood that well when he sent his servant Eliezer over a long distance to find his son a bride. It wasn't at all that Abraham was an overprotective or controlling father - he knew the lasting significance of marriage And Genesis 24 helps us understand why.
When Abraham gave his servant his orders he said most emphatically that he was not to find a bride from amongst the pagan Canaanites but only someone who was kin. The Canaanites were the worst kind of idolaters imaginable. I'm sure he could have found a wife for Isaac next door - there were plenty of available women - but to find the right one Abraham knew that he would have to go much farther afield.
The trouble with modern-day Canaanites is that they are not so obviously pagan. They can even appear religious in a positive sense, but being religious isn't enough.
The apostle Paul says quite clearly: "Do not be yoked together [in marriage] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [Satan]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" (2 Cor.6:14-15)
The issue Paul is talking about is not whether believers or unbelievers are "good", "kind", or "nice" because God has said clearly that all unbelief is wickedness. The only goodness that anyone has is through faith in Christ. Humans judge goodness and evil relatively. God sees all men and women as evil because they are filled with sin. Only those who are in Christ, the only sinless man, are counted as righteous. The light and goodness that we have is all derived, meaning that it is something that we don't create ourselves but comes from God. The Bible makes it clear that those who are not trusting in the salvation of Christ and walking in His commandments are already cut off and lost. Their doom is sealed. Would you marry someone whom you knew for sure would leave you? At the resurrection the believer and unbeliever will be forever separated because they will belong to two entirely different resurrections. And those who are unbelievers will be single in any case.
In choosing a marriage companion we should be looking for someone whose spiritual direction we can trust. The Law of God not only advises against marrying unbelievers but actually forbids it because God knows that unbelievers will, with few exceptions, influence believers to compromise their faith. And those who "live and let live" when it comes to spiritual faith often drift apart - there's a big area in their lives where they can never meet and never share in the blessedness that comes from spiritual union in marriage. Their marriage is never complete.
If our feelings towards another person lead us to trample on our relationship with the Lord then you have a sure sign that you are not in His will. God must be first in everything. And only when He's first will He lead you to the right person.
As you read the Bible you will find that time and time again a cause for apostasy and national destruction was intermarrying with unbelievers. You will remember when the Jews came back from captivity to Jerusalem and how the Lord had to rebuke them through the prophets Ezra and Nehemiah for their mixed marriages (Ezra 9-10; Neh.13:23-27) and later by Malachi (Mal.2:11-12). Love, lust and circumstances blinded them to what they knew was right and wrong.
I know from experience that it requires lots self-discipline to do so; however, just because someone is gorgeous, a hunk, kind and considerate or seems to be genuinely in love with you, doesn't mean that the relationship was right.
When I was in my early 20's I fell in love with a Scottish woman. Thank goodness it didn't work out because years later the Lord showed me in a dream what marriage to her would have been like - loveless and cold. She was very nice, decent, well educated, well brought-up and physically attractive. But the match wasn't right.
Of course, there is always a remote possibility to winning an unbelieving husband or wife to the Lord (1 Cor. 7:12-16; 1 Pet.3:1-2). It does happen, but it's so rare statistically that it's a terrible gamble. And the examples that are given in the New Testament concern unbelieving partners when one converts to Christ. Nowhere in the Scriptures are we remotely encouraged to marry an unbeliever. Rather, we are told to avoid them like the plague, because that's in our best interests.
Feelings and physical attraction are only two components of the marriage equation and neither of them are the most important. Doing God's will is. And yet it's amazing how many people marry even when they know it's not right. All reason seems to desert them as they plunge into the swirling waters of chaos and hurt.
Before anyone gets married, they should carefully think over a number of basic questions like: what areas of conflict could develop in a marriage if the two are not believers? What sort of effect would this relationship have on the faith of their children as they grew up? Would you want your children to grow up seeing one parent smoking, drinking to access, swearing, mocking God, or being unfaithful? A little simple logic might save a lot of people a lot of pain and distress. Marriage is never worth rushing into.
2. Trust God
It isn't easy to wait for someone else to give you what you desperately long for. Marriage is one of the best gifts God has ever given and its understandably very attractive.. No one enjoys waiting a long time for anything. But developing patience can help us develop the skill of listening carefully to God instead of our own unredeemed passions. The impatient invariably make mistakes, and in the realm of marriage it can be very, very costly. The Swedish writer Selma Lagerlöf said: "The restless heart always takes the wrong path" (The Story of Gösta Berling) and I entirely agree with her. Only those who are calm, at peace, and prayerful usually make sound decisions. The passion of the moment is one of the worst guides to choosing a marriage companion imaginable.
The entire business of life is a process of learning to wait in dependence on others. Things rarely come how and when we want them to. It all begins when we are infants - we want our milk, our chocolate biscuit, our favorite stuffed animal, or a new nappy. We have to learn again and again that we can't have everything now. We have to wait for mother and father to provide what we need.
And that's true in adult life too. More importantly than that, we have to learn to wait on the Lord. You can't hurry Him. He provides all we need but when He wants to and how He wants to. And He always knows best. It's not an easy lesson to learn but the wise person learns it sooner rather than later. We discover as we mature that His timing is always best and that He has everything under control. For a man or woman who has an aching heart and longs to get married, the wait can be very, very hard. I know for sure that there are several people in this room who have experienced this in their own lives. And many of them will tell you that the things that come the hardest are often the best and worth the struggle and wait.
In the story of Isaac and Rebekah we can learn a wonderful lesson about trusting Jesus. Abraham had complete confidence in his servant Eliezer to so what was right. He knew in His heart through the Spirit that this man would be led to the right woman. He trusted God to do it right. He was even given the promise that Jesus would send an angel to guide Eliezer and that he would find a wife in that village. He knew it because he walked with God and had a close relationship with him as a faithful disciple. And that's why the counsel of mature Christians who know God is so very important even though the final decision has to be those concerned. Rebekah was not forced to marry Isaac but freely gave her consent in faith before she even met him.
Abraham was a living, breathing example of the truth of Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths". Abraham lived by faith and by obedience, and Jesus blessed and guided him, even to finding the right wife for his son Isaac. A more caring and faithful father you could not hope to find, so much so that Isaac trusted him implicitly to do the right thing for him, even in so sensitive and important an area as marriage.
We can have the same quiet confidence and assurance in the Lord as the ancient patriarchs did. As long as we walk humbly, submissively, and obediently, we need not worry that we'll somehow miss God's direction about which way to turn. Just as Abraham humbled himself before the King of the Universe, so too we are to seek first the kingdom of God and He will take care of all we need (Mt.6:33), and that includes helping us to find a spouse. Is it any wonder that God commanded all Christians to do the works of Abraham? (Jn.8:39) The scriptures teach that those who truly believe and obey Christ are the children of Abraham (Gal.3:7). And do you know which three men in the Bible God is directly associated with? He is called again and again the "God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob".
When God delays sending us a marriage companion, it is not to torture us but to bless us. Sometimes people have to wait years, sometimes almost no time at all. What is important is to make what is probably the second most important decision in your life right. God, marriage and career are the three most important, and in that order. Never try to find a "quick fix" for anything - it's not worth it, especially when it comes to marriage. Whoever you are, whatever your circumstances, God wants you to call on Him, walk close to Him, and wait on Him (Ps.27:13-14; Is.30:18). Be honest with Him about your desires to be married for the desire is good and wholesome. But don't lose patience and wander away from Him in your attempt to find someone to marry. It could cost you a lot more than a happy marriage.
If you are to trust God with such a big decision as marriage, then it follows that you must first trust Him with the small day-to-day things of your life. Are you living in continual dependence on Him? Are you in the place and attitude where He can get your attention?
When Eliezer spoke to Rebekah he said very simply that the Lord had led Him to where he was at that very moment (Gen.24:27). He was in the right position to be able to receive God's instructions. We must do the same, walking in obedience to Jesus, if we expect Him to lead us in the future.
Would you, for example, expect God to lead you to a good Christian made if you spent your days hanging around with people who don't have a good reputation? Where do you seriously think you would find a good believing husband or wife? In a bar? In a rock concert? In a boxing match? In a nazi rally? In a Buddhist temple? These questions may seem silly but you'd be surprised how contradictory some people can be. What about your own behaviour? Is a Christian man or woman going to be attracted by the kind of life you lead? Or are you expecting a carbon copy of yourself to turn up? Such people don't exist, thank goodness. Are you engaging in premarital sex with someone doing the same? Would you expect such a person to be faithful to you after marriage? And would the other person think you would be faithful? And are you prepared to remain single and chaste until He leads you to the right mate? If not, I guarantee He won't - you'll be left on your own to do your own rebellious thing.
In summary, the first and most obvious in our list is Choose a Believer and we saw that this was not only what God expects of us but it was the only choice that was common sense. The second principle we discussed was Trust God to do the providing, remembering that only He has seen prophetically into the future and that only He actually knows what is best for us. We saw that patiently waiting for your partner is well worth the wait - making a mistake in marriage can ruin you for life.
In many respects when we are looking for a husband or a wife we are walking blind. People are so complicated and there are few who do not have secrets that they wouldn't rather reveal later than now. Spending time getting to know a potential spouse as a friend is vital. These days people start with sex and try to form friendship afterwards - in God's system it must be the other way round. Because we can't see into the future when it comes to marriage, and since God can, it is very, very important that we are walking with Him. If you are a blind person who owns a specially trained dog, it's no use going for a walk until you have harnessed the dog. Similarly, there's no point in -being a believer and expecting God to lead you to your companion if you -aren't harnessed to God in other matters. We need to know Jesus so well that when He speaks to us we can discern Him. All too often people are waylaid by their own passions or the whisperings of demons. Needless to say if we haven't got our spiritual walk with the Lord right the chances are we're not going to hear Him and make some pretty serious mistakes.
So how do I know whether I'm trusting the Lord or not? I would suggest that there are three ways we can measure this: (1) Whether we are living in obedience to His commandments; (2) Whether we are growing in our relationship with Jesus; and (3) Whether we have learned to be content with out situation as it is at any one moment. Listen to what Paul says:
"...I have learned to make ends meet in whatever situation I am. I know how to live simply and I know how to enjoy prosperity. I am acquainted with all circumstances: to be filled up and to be hungry, to have abundance and to suffer want. I have strength for every situation through [Christ] who empowers me" (Phil.4:11b-13, RBV).
Learning to be content whether we are single or married as we search or after the search is completed is very important.
3. Consider Character
The third principle I wish to move on to in the search for a husband or a wife is character. What do I mean by that? Well let me ask you some questions to give you some idea of what I mean. If you had a serious heart condition, what sort of surgeon would you want to perform an operation in you? How about a drug addict? Or a psychopathic killer? Or someone who cheated on his medical exams? Well, common sense is enough to tell you that you wouldn't want a doctor who was like any of these people. If you are going to entrust your life to a surgeon, you want it to be someone you can have confidence in because he has solid character.
In looking for the right husband or wife you need to be sure that he or she has the right qualifications. Now I'm not suggesting that you hand out a question-and-answer form to every potential husband or wife you meet and get them to fill it in! Most people - and especially young ones - have a distorted view of themselves which isn't necessarily accurate. No, what I mean is, that you should be looking for certain character traits in your potential partner. And finally remember this: what you expect of others should also be evident in your own life. Expecting a partner to be patient when you aren't would be a bit hypocritical, wouldn't it?
When Abraham's Eliezer prayed to know which woman he should approach for his master's son, he wasn't looking for arbitrary signs. He wasn't looking for visions or voices to tell him what to do. He wasn't looking for beauty or wealth. As we read the account in Genesis chapter 24 we discover that he was looking for three essential character traits:
(1) He was looking for a woman who was submissive;
(2) he was looking for a woman who was humble; and
(3) he was looking for a woman who had a servant attitude..
Now these three traits may surprise you. Certainly you won't find men and women advertising for these things in dating agencies these days. Mostly people are focussed on all the wrong things. But a godly man or woman who is looking for a believer and who is trusting in Jesus will be looking for these three character traits. It was only when Rebekah fulfilled these character traits that Eliezer even bothered to ask the Lord is she was the right one. (Gen.24:21). Only once Eliezer was sure that she had these traits by carefully observing her did he even consider her as a possible wife for his Master's son Isaac. A person with these character traits is going to be sensitive to God's will and walk in the right direction in life. So important are these character traits that we must consider them carefully.
a. Submissiveness. The last thing a modern woman wants to be is submissive to a man and the last thing a modern man wants to be is submissive to God. But submissive is probably the key hallmark of a son or daughter of God. To be submissive means not insisting on your own way or your own "rights". It is absolutely the quality of an obedient Christian or either sex. Every single man or woman of God in Scripture had this disposition. To be submissive to God implies a deep respect of him. To be submissive to a husband means to have a deep godly respect for him also.
b. Humility. The second character of a godly person is humility. Arrogance, boasting and showing off are not of God but demonstrate a personality deeply rooted in self and in the carnal nature.. To be humble is to be free from pride. It is to have a modest estimate of one's own worth. A humble person is conscious of his imperfections and sinfulness, and freely admits them. The opposite is a proud and haughty person who never admits he is wrong and who is always boasting of what he is or what he is going to be. Humility does not show off like that or try to get attention by parading itself. Yah'shua (Jesus) taught that "whoever humbles himself as a child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven" (Mt.18:4, NASB). And He gave this warning: " ... whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted" (Lk.14:11, NASB).
c. A Servant Attitude. Flowing from these two Christian character traits is a Servant Attitude. That means that he is not waiting for people to do things for him but is eager to do things for others. Yah'shua (Jesus) taught the importance of this so many times. Once He said: "If I, then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I gave you an example that you should also do as I did to you" (Jn.13:14, NASB). If you want to marry a person because of what he or she can give you, then your motives are completely the wrong way round! A Christian marries a person he loves because he wishes to serve her in the Lord.
Paul said: "... do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation ... Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself" (Rom.12:16; Phil.2:3, NASB). And if you are in any doubt, James said: "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (Jas.4:6, NASB).
Some of you may be surprised that I am laying such a heavy emphasis on these three character traits because the world certainly doesn't. But the emphasis isn't mine - it's God's.
d. Sexual purity. Now Rebekah, as it happens, was beautiful, but this was not a primary consideration. She had a fourth virtue that weighed very heavily in her favor, namely, she was a virgin (Gen.24:16). She had kept herself sexually pure. So serious a crime was the hiding of sexual impurity at the time of marriage that by the Law of Moses someone doing so could be executed (Dt.5:18; 22:13-21). That is how important God considers sexual purity to be. A person who regards sex as cheap, as a mere entertainment commodity, isn't worthy of even a second glance, because such a person is likely to defile you and betray you. Remember that one of the surest ways of demonic contamination is through unclean sex..
Submissiveness, humility, service-mindedness, and sexual purity are revealed as four vital character traits in a potential husband or a wife. A true Christian will not even consider someone who does not have these four virtues. What other character traits does God expect the believer to seek in another?
e. Devotion to Christ. We have already established that a Christian should be looking for a fellow believer, but being a believer isn't enough. What we do reveals what sort of Christian we are.. The fifth character trait must be devotion to Christ. You should settle for no less than a believer who is spiritually sensitive to the Lord and desires to live for Christ as opposed for himself (2 Cor.6:14-18; Eph.4:17-5:20; Phil.3:7-16; 1 Jn.2:15-17).
f. Right priorities. What if the potential man or woman has all these character traits? What should I be looking for next? The Scriptures make it perfectly clear that you should not commit your life to a person who is seeking for wealth, pleasure or popularity (Eccl.2:1-11; 5:8-17; 6:1-12; Mt.6:33; Rom.12:2; 1 Tim.6:10; Heb.13:5). In other words, you should be looking for a person who has right priorities. There is nothing wrong in having money, pleasure or being popular, but there is something wrong when you actively seek for these things, because they always lead a soul off the path of discipleship.
g. Right beliefs. The seventh character trait is one of faithfulness to the truth. Don't go and marry a heretic! You don't have to agree on every minor issue, but make sure that you are agreed on all the fundamental biblical doctrines and practices. Don't marry a Christian who is dabbling in the occult or who doesn't believe in the divinity of Christ, for example (1 Jn.4:1-6).
h. Commitment to church. As I have pointed out so many times, there is no such thing as a solo Christian. Find a person committed to active church life. It doesn't matter whether it's a big fellowship or a tiny one so long as they are active in a fellowship of other believers. Discipleship is not spiritual solitaire. Christ designed the church to meet our needs and for us to serve others. People who aren't involved in a church rarely serve other believers. You should agree on this issue with your future mate (Eph.4:1-16; Heb.10:24-25). Christians who stay at home by themselves are usually spiritually dead Christians.
i. Loving attitude. Trait number nine is a loving attitude. This is the most basic characteristic that every believer should possess (Jn.13:35; Gal.5:22; 1 Jn.3:11-20). You might think this is obvious but you'd be surprised how many people get attracted to unloving people because of infatuation or some other factor. False people often try to lure members of the opposite sex by hiding one or more bad character traits by focusing on good ones. Never marry a cold-hearted man or woman because it will crucify your marriage. A loveless marriage is one of the worst things imaginable. The Bible warns us not to marry someone who is irritable or contentious (Prov.19:13; 21:9,19). If you feel verbally or emotionally abused - if you're always bickering - then something is seriously flawed and you have a bad match.
j. Self-control. Trait number ten is self-control. Is your potential mate easily angered? Is he or she addicted to alcohol drugs, tobacco, food, sex, work, sports, or impulse buying? (Prov.23:20-21; 25:28; Gal.5:22,23; Eph.5:15-18). The chances are such a person will be difficult to live with and create unbearable stresses.
k. Honesty. Trait number eleven is honesty.. Settle for nothing less. The writer of Proverbs said that "an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips" (Prov.24:26, NIV). If a person truly loves you, he or she will show that affection with honest words.
l. Beauty below the skin. Trait number twelve is beauty ... below the skin. If the Lord looks for attractive inner qualities in a person, should be look for less? (1 Sam.16:7; Prov.11:22; 31:13; 1 Pet.3:2-5). Always remember that beauty is only skin-deep, but character goes right to the core. Obviously you don't want to be physically repulsed by your mate but that sort of attraction is not nearly as important as inner attraction.
m. Responsibility. Trait number thirteen is responsibility. Don't marry a selfish, lazy, person who lacks the desire or the means to fulfill certain responsibilities. Rebekah and her father could tell from Eliezer's gifts and his description of Isaac that he would be able to take care of her needs (Gen.24:22,35,53). That's not so say you shouldn't marry a poor person, but it does mean you shouldn't marry someone who is irresponsible with money and who won't work. You don't want your children to suffer because of negligence. Paul said that a husband who doesn't provide for his wife, children and family, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim.5:8). Never marry a sluggard (Prov.24:30-34). But lest the women think they have the right to waited on hands and feet, the last chapter of the Book of Proverbs (31:10-31) also strictly admonishes them to be industrious and, when necessary, to help with the domestic income by generating money at home. The Christian couple shall always be industrious.
n. Good relationship with parents. Trait number fourteen is the way a person relates to his parents. Don't marry someone who is disrespectful to his parents for God prizes this trait highly (Eph.6:1-3).
That is the conclusion of my list to which you may wish to add other things. But all that I have mentioned are basic to Christian marriage. As always, you must find a balance. Don't look for perfection because you'll never find it. At the same time, beware of the temptation to minimise what God expects because your heart is biased - when you are in love, there is a dangerous tendency to see your potential partner through rose-tinted lenses. Be levelheaded. If you have a deep relationship with the Lord, and if He is your first love as He is supposed to be, that won't be such a problem. Don't compromise on the basic issues but allow room for growth of character. The important question is: is the person you want to marry devoted to Christ and is allowing God to work in his or her life to become more like Yah'shua (Jesus)? If you're unsure what the word "devoted" means, it means to be loyal and dedicated to. To be devoted to Christ means to be completely true to Him. If your partner is the same way, being devoted and true to one another will come so much more easily.
Now it's obviously fine making a list like the one I have made and seeing if your potential partner matches up. But before you do, make sure you're living up to the standards in yourself. Ask yourself such questions as: Would I be a good catch for such a person? Will he or she help me in my relationship with Christ?
4. Wisdom
Having considered character, we now move to an area which is harder than you think. In choosing a partner, use wisdom. Be sensible. Don't be stupid. If you are searching for a husband or wife who meets the standards in your list, make sure you look for him in the right place. Eliezer didn't go to a pagan Canaanite visit to find Isaac a wife, did he? So where do you seriously think you are going to find a Christian made of sound character and mind?
The second point I want to make about selecting a marriage partner is absolutely not to base your choice on one sign, even if you believe this sign is from the Lord. Now you will remember that when Eliezer asked Jesus for a sign - a young woman who would offer water to him and his camels - he didn't jump to the conclusion that Rebekah was the right one when she offered water. Even after Rebekah had passed this test, Eliezer continued to quietly observe her, and wondered if she was the right one for Isaac (Gen.24:21).
The water sign was only the first sign, and though a useful pointer, was not enough in itself. Once that sign had been fulfilled, he learned that she was from the right family. Then as he talked with her father and her brother, he noted that they were quick to give their approval. The final indication was when Rebekah gave her own approval and decided she would go. The right choice was made on the basis of a combination of many different factors. And these days, in our mixed up world, finding the right spouse may require many different factors.
My next piece of advice is don't make your decision all on your own. Get advice. Talk to mature Christians and especially your parents if they are believers. Not only did Isaac trust his father Abraham and his servant Isaac, but Rebekah trusted her father and brother.
Never suppose that our thinking processes are as objective as we may like to think, especially when we are young and even more especially if we are in love. Emotions can seriously blind us to serious character flaws in others. All the older people in this room will I am sure tell you of disastrous marriage matches and how people were blinded by passion. The Bible tells us to double-check our judgment with the counsel of people we can trust (Prov.12:15; 20:18).
Finally, don't just study the person you are interested in, but study his family and friends too. They will tell you more about him than you might at first imagine. How he gets on with his brothers and sisters will tell you volumes about his character. Does he honour his parents? Hoe do his parents and siblings treat him? Be aware that our nearest family always leave a deep mark on us.
From all this it is plain that a sensible person will not rush into either an emotional relationship or into marriage itself. Both parties need to be sure that they are right for one another and ready for a lifetime commitment (Prov.19:2; 29:20). Once you make your covenants, you are committed FOR LIFE. There's no space for experimenting. There's no thing as 'love at first sight' - infatuation at first sight, lust at first sight, yes - but not true Christ-like love. Don't believe the lies you hear in popular songs. The only thing you can catch at first sight is a superficial attraction - or a cold. Love takes time to grow and develop.
So, to summarise, here are five more keys or practical considerations:
1. Look in the right place
2. Ask the Lord for help
3. Don't base your decision on one 'sign'
4. Seek advice
5. Study the family
6. Don't rush!
In summary, as you can see, finding a spouse is neither easy nor a small matter, nor can we leave it up to chemical forces. At its heart is our relationship to the Lord Jesus. And remember this also - that time and time again God and Christ use true marriage as an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Our Church life and our marriage life are really quite inseparable for Christians because each is an _expression of the other. Paul said there was a great mystery in this, and he's right: marriage is one of the foundational principles of life both now and in the eternities. After finding God, finding your spouse is the next most important decision you'll ever make in your life. Amen.
1. Choose a Believer
2. Trust Jesus
a. Obedience
b. Relationship to Jesus
c. Be content with what you have
3. Consider Character
a. Submissiveness
b. Humility
c. A Servant attitude
d. Sexual purity
e. Devotion to Christ
f. Right priorities
g.Right beliefs
h. Committment to Church
i. Loving attitude
j. Self-control
k. Honesty
l. Beauty below the skin
m. Responsibility
n. Good relationship with parents
4. Wisdom
5. Get advice
| Shirley Howard Wesley |
| Press Release Source: American Heart Association | 11/7/2005 | Press Release Source: American Heart Association
Many African Americans Underestimate Their Risk for Stroke, According to a New Survey
Thursday November 3, 10:52 am ET
Yolanda King, Daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Helps American Stroke Association Launch Power to End Stroke
DALLAS, Nov. 3 /PRNewswire/ -- It happened to Coretta Scott King, Luther Vandross, and Robert Guillaume. And it may happen to you -- a stroke. In fact, blacks are almost twice as likely to have a stroke as whites, and about 100,000 African Americans will suffer from one this year, according to the American Stroke Association, a division of the American Heart Association.
That's why Yolanda King, daughter of Coretta Scott King and the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., has teamed with the American Stroke Association to launch Power To End Stroke -- an aggressive education and awareness initiative to reach African Americans, who are at greater risk than other ethnic groups.
Through Power To End Stroke, the association is working to:
* create awareness around the serious health disparity of stroke in
African Americans;
* drive the message that in many cases, stroke may be preventable;
* increase knowledge of the risk factors for stroke, particularly high
blood pressure and diabetes;
* give information to African Americans to help reduce their risks.
An American Stroke Association survey of African Americans, conducted in August by Harris Interactive, found that 70 percent of African American adults think they are knowledgeable about stroke. However,
* Only 30 percent correctly define stroke;
* 49 percent know stroke symptoms; and
* Only 43 percent recognize that African Americans are the racial/ethnic
group at the most risk for stroke; and
* 51 percent of African-American adults do not think that they will ever
have a stroke.
"We want African Americans to first take the association's stroke pledge," King said. "It's a promise for people to sign committing to not just "survive," but "thrive" by doing their part to make the right health choices for themselves, their families and their communities to prevent and overcome stroke." The pledge may be shared with relatives and friends, and includes a reply card for people to request and receive stroke-related information and incentives throughout the year.
The American Stroke Association encourages African Americans to know their family's health history, and work with their doctors to prevent and manage stroke risks. "A substantial number of African Americans aren't making the connection that their ethnicity and family's history increases their stroke risk," said Bruce Ovbiagele, M.D., a neurologist at UCLA Westwood Hospital. "Some factors, such as family history, age, ethnicity and having a previous stroke, increase risk for stroke and can't be controlled. Others, such as high blood pressure, smoking, diabetes, obesity or high cholesterol can be changed or treated."
"Since my mother has suffered a stroke, I know that it is doubly important for my family and me to pay special attention to the risk factors that we can control or eliminate. That's why we are taking the American Stroke Association's pledge and getting serious about reducing our stroke risks for ourselves and our legacy," King said.
"In most cases, stroke is not inevitable," said Dr. Ovbiagele. "Taking simple steps now against even one risk factor can help reduce your risk of stroke."
Join the movement to fight stroke because you are the power to end stroke:
* Put down the cigarettes and stop smoking.
* Observe advice from your doctor and know your family's medical
history.
* Watch your weight and be physically active at least 30 minutes most
days of the week.
* Eat healthfully, avoid foods high in saturated, trans fat, cholesterol
and sodium.
* Regulate and control high blood pressure and diabetes.
It is never too late to take action against stroke. For more information about the American Stroke Association or how you can join the "movement" to fight stroke, call 1-888-4-STROKE or visit StrokeAssociation.org/power.
About Yolanda King
She is the first-born daughter of Coretta Scott King and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Yolanda's mission is to encourage personal growth and positive social change through her artistic endeavors, including acting, producing, speaking and teaching. Her passion for peace and positive change prompted her to found Higher Ground Productions, an organization dedicated to teaching people to celebrate diversity and embrace unity.
About the American Stroke Association
The goal of the American Stroke Association, a division of the American Heart Association, is to reduce disability and death from stroke through research, education and advocacy. In its 2003-04 fiscal year, the association spent $162.4 million on stroke.
Methodology
Harris Interactive conducted the survey on behalf of the American Stroke Association by telephone within the United States between August 10-31, 2005, among a nationwide cross section of 500 African-American adults age 18 or older. All respondents were selected using Random-Digit-Dial (RDD). Figures for age, sex, race, education, number of adults and number of voice/telephone lines in the household were weighted where necessary to align them with their actual proportions in the population.
What's a stroke?
A stroke occurs when a blood vessel in the brain bursts or gets clogged. The affected part of the brain doesn't get the blood it needs and, in minutes, begins to die. If you have a stroke, you could die, suffer paralysis or have trouble talking or understanding speech. Your vision could be affected. You could also lose emotional control or become depressed. Each stroke has different effects.
What are the types of stroke?
If we consider an isolated blood vessel, blood flow to the brain tissue can be hampered in two ways:
* the vessel becomes blocked within (ischemic stroke)
* Ischemic stroke accounts for about 88 percent of all cases.
* Ischemic strokes occur as a result of an obstruction within a blood
vessel supplying blood to the brain. The part of the brain beyond
the blockage becomes deprived of blood.
* the vessel ruptures, causing blood to leak into the brain (hemorrhagic
stroke)
* Hemorrhagic stroke accounts for about 12 percent of stroke cases.
* Hemorrhagic strokes result from a weakened vessel on or in the
brain that ruptures and bleeds into the surrounding brain. The
blood accumulates and compresses the surrounding brain tissue. The
part of the brain downstream from the rupture becomes deprived of
blood
What are transient ischemic attacks?
Also called TIAs, transient ischemic attacks are "mini" or warning strokes. In a TIA, there is a temporary decrease in blood flow to a part of the brain and the typical stroke warning signs develop. However, the obstruction occurs for a short time and tends to resolve itself through normal mechanisms. Even though the symptoms disappear after a short time, TIAs are strong indicators of a possible major stroke. A TIA is considered a medical emergency.
General Stroke Statistics
* About 700,000 Americans will have a new or recurrent stroke this year
-- that's someone every 45 seconds.
* Stroke is the nation's No. 3 killer and a leading cause of severe,
long-term disability.
* Over 162,000 people will die from a stroke this year.
* 14 percent of people who survive a first stroke or TIA (transient
ischemic attack) will have another one within one year.
* The length of time to recover from a stroke depends on severity.
50 to 70 percent of stroke survivors regain functional independence,
but 15 to 30 percent are permanently disabled. 20 percent require
institutionalized care at three months after onset.
Stroke and African Americans
While anyone can have a stroke, knowing about and managing risk factors reduces risk. African Americans are among those least aware of stroke risk factors, despite having a high prevalence of high blood pressure, obesity and tobacco use. In fact,
* Blacks have almost twice the risk of first-ever strokes compared to
whites.
* Blacks have higher death rates for stroke compared to whites.
* The prevalence of high blood pressure in African Americans in the
United States is the highest in the world.
* Among non-Hispanic blacks age 20 and older, 62.9 percent of men and
77.2 percent of women are overweight or obese.
* In 2001, 27.7 percent of black or African-Americans only, used any
tobacco product. Heavy cigarette smoking approximately doubles a
person's risk for stroke when compared to light smokers.
* Black women have higher prevalence rates of high blood pressure,
obesity, physical inactivity, and diabetes than white women.
What can I do to help prevent a stroke and the debilitating affects from stroke?
* See your doctor to check if you're at risk.
* Take recommended steps to control your risk factors.
* Know the warning signs.
* If you think you might be having a stroke or TIA ("mini-stroke"), call
9-1-1 immediately or the emergency medical services (EMS) number.
You can reduce your chances of having a stroke. It starts by you becoming aware of your risk factors. You can't change or control some of them; some you can -- by making a few changes in your daily habits or taking medicine as prescribed.
How can I reduce my risk for stroke?
* Control your blood pressure
* Stop smoking
* Maintain a healthy weight
* Get physical activity at least 30 minutes a day on most days of the
week
* Keep diabetes under control
What are the warning signs of stroke?
* Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one
side of the body
* Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
* Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
* Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
* Sudden, severe headache with no known cause
Can I reduce the effects of stroke while I am having a stroke?
In many cases, yes. There's a treatment available for stroke if administered within the first three hours of the start of a stroke. Most strokes are ischemic (caused by a blood clot), so clot-busting drugs, if administered early, can reduce long-term disability from stroke. Your chances of walking away from a stroke greatly increase if those around you know how to recognize stroke and immediately call 9-1-1.
Can I fully recover from a stroke?
Yes. Stroke rehabilitation involves several different therapies, and the sooner that rehabilitation begins, the greater the chance for recovery and leading a productive life.
* Most stroke survivors are left with a disability, but some recover
completely or have only mild impairments.
* Some survivors with severe disabilities can be taught to walk and care
for themselves again.
Resources from the American Stroke Association can help you or a loved one work with your doctors and reach out to other stroke survivors to become stronger. To contact us, call 1-888-4-STROKE or visit the American Stroke Association online at StrokeAssociation.org.
| StrokeAssociation.org |
| ~ D E A T H ~ | 11/7/2005 | ~ D E A T H ~
WHAT A WONDERFUL
WAY TO EXPLAIN IT
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was
preparing to leave the examination room and said,
"Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on
the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know
what is on the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on
the other side came a sound of scratching and
whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang
into the room and leaped on him with an eager show
of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you
notice my dog? He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing
except that his master was here, and when the door
opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of
what is on the other side of death, but I do know
one thing... I know my Master is there and that is
enough."
| |
| Goal for Business Owners | 10/30/2005 | We must deliver quality service with care, respect and integrity. To
be committed to customer satisfaction, to include identifying the
customer’s viewpoint, gaining trust and meeting their needs.
| Doctor |
| What if | 10/30/2005 | What if God decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him
today?
What if God couldn't take the time to bless us today because we couldn't take
the time to thank Him yesterday?
What if we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God
sent the Rain?
What if God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day?
What if, God took away the Bible tomorrow because we would not read it today?
What if, God took away His message because we failed to listen to the
messenger?
THINK ABOUT THIS ONE.....
What if, God didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to
be prepared to pay the price for sin?
What if, the door of the church was closed because we did not open the
door of our heart?
What if, God stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love
and care for others?
What if, God would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him?
What if, God answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service?
What if, God met our needs the way we give Him our lives???
What if, we failed to send this message on??
THIS IS A SIMPLE TEST.......
If you love Jesus, Just tell someone, anyone.
| |
| Life | 10/9/2005 | Do not confuse "Cost-of-Living" with "Quality of Life" !! | |
| Crooner, the speech given by Willie Lynch a slave owner | 10/9/2005 | Ithought this was the most appropriate time for ALL OF US to re-read, remember and NEVER FORGET, the speech given by Willie Lynch a slave owner who over 300 years ago devised a plan to help keep Black people divided...
Gentlemen:
I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our lord, one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First , I shall thank you, the gentlemen of the of the colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me in my modest plantation in the West Indies where I have experimented with some of the newest and still the oldest method for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious KING JAMES, whose BIBLE we CHERISH, I saw enough to know that our problem is not unique. While Rome used cords or wood as crosses for standing human bodies along the old highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasion.
I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree a couple of miles back. You are losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, you suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed, Gentleman,...You know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them.
In my bag, I have a fool proof method for controlling your slaves. I guarantee everyone of you that if installed it will control the slaves for at least three hundred years. My method is simple, any member of your family or any OVERSEER can use it.
I have outlined a number of differences among the slaves, and I take these differences and make them bigger. I use FEAR, DISTRUST, and ENVY for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies, and it will work throughout the SOUTH. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On the top of my list is "AGE" but it is only there because it starts with an "A"; The second is"COLOR" or shade; there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZE OF PLANTATION, ATTITUDE of owner, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, east or west, north, south, have fine or coarse hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action- but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST, AND ENVY IS STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION.
The black slave, after receiving this indoctrination, shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.
Don't forget you must pitch the old black VS. the young black males, and the young black male against the old black male. You must use the dark skinned slaves VS. the light skin slaves. You must use the female VS the male, and the male VS, the female. You must always have your servants and OVERSEERS distrust all blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us.
Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Never miss an opportunity. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year the slave will remain perpetually distrustful.
-WILLIAM LYNCH-1772
The letter above is one of the major problems of the African-American race today. And with this knowledge we as a race can and will over come. So with this letter still in your mind I ask that you enlighten someone else and send this letter to as many brothers and sisters. We as a race must start somewhere in learning our problems what better place than the document that started the destruction of our MOST POWERFUL RACE!!!
| |
| Ten Guidelines From God..... | 10/9/2005 | Effective Immediately,
please be aware that there are changes YOU need
to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be
completed in order that I may fulfill My promises
to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in
this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,
but after all that I am doing, this seems very
little to ask of you. Please, follow
these 10 guidelines
1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
thing that comes your way?
2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
of the problem. I can't help you until you turn
it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
is long, I am after all... God. I can take care
of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never
even realize.
3. TRUST ME:
Once you've given your burdens to Me,
quit trying to take them back. Trust in
Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
all your needs, your problems and your trials.
Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
help you. All you have to do is ask.
4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don't wake up one morning and say,
"Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think
I can handle it from here." Why do you think
you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.
You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking
care of them. I also renew your strength
and cover you in my peace. Don't you
know that if I give you these problems back,
you will be right back where you started?
Leave them with Me and forget about
them. Just let Me do my job.
5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things.
Forget what was making you crazy.
Forget the worry and the fretting because
you know I'm in control. But there's one
thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't
forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!
I want to hear your voice. I want you to
include Me in on the things going on in your life.
I want to hear you talk about y our friends
and family. Prayer is simply you having
a conversation with Me. I want to be your
dearest friend.
6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you
can't see from where you are. Have faith in
Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;
you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.
I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
Although I have a much bigger task than you,
it seems as if you have so much trouble just
doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?
7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were
only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are
less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
those who need encouragement. Share your
laughter with those who haven't heard any in
such a long time. Share your tears with those
who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
with those who have none.
8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
you could have so many diverse experiences.
You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
change jobs many times, learn many trades,
travel to so many places, meet thousands
of people, and experience so much. How can
you be so impatient then when it takes Me
a little longer than you expect to handle
something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
because I created the entire universe in
only six days, everyone thinks I should
always rush, rush, rush.
9. BE KIND:
Be kind to others, for I love them just
as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
you do, but I still love you all. Please try
to get along, for My sake. I created each
of you different in some way. It would be
too boring if you were all identical.
Please, know I love each of your differences.
10. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not
love yourself? You were created by me for
one reason only -- to be loved, and to love
in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
It makes My heart ache when I see you
so angry with yourself when things go
wrong. You are very precious to me.
Don't ever forget......
Touch someone with your love.
Rather than focus upon the thorns of life,
smell the roses and count your blessings
| |
| Life's Philosophy | 10/9/2005 | GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short
| |
| Worry | 9/30/2005 | Worry is like a rocking chair—it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
| |
| THINGS GOOD TO KNOW | 9/16/2005 |
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any
6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it.
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too
11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet - Jello!
16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper
21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the (white) vinegar!
26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36. Dirty grout - Listerine
37. Stains on clothes - Colgate
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water.
42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you "squeeze" for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow. So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have ! differen t colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
| S W |
| WHAT'S IN YOUR SPONGE? | 9/14/2005 |
There are 5 sponges laying on your kitchen counter top. Each member of your family has been cleaning up different areas of your home, but all the sponges look the same. You are curious as to what was cleaned in your home, but you can't tell by looking...they all look the same....so what do you do?
You squeeze each sponge to see what comes out. As you squeeze the first sponge, you see that cola comes out, and so you decide that someone cleaned the kitchen with that one. Upon squeezing the second sponge, you find tub and tile cleaner - that one was used to clean the bathroom.
Next, in the third sponge, you find motor oil -- hubby was cleaning the garage!
In the fourth sponge, baby powder puffs out when it is squeezed -- yep, the baby's nursery was done with that one!
And finally, in the last one, is floor wax -- that was the one you used on the hall floor!
As you lay the last one down, you look again at their similarity - and they all look the same until they're squeezed.
Christians are the same way. As life squeezes us, different things come out - anger from one, a need for revenge from another, tears from one, remorse from yet another - also greed, untruth, lust - and finally, from one saint, pours forth the love of Christ.
Just like the sponge, we can only squeeze out what is put in - stay in the Word daily, and be in continuous prayer, so that when life puts the squeeze on you (and it WILL), Jesus, and Jesus ALONE will shine forth from you!
Have a blessed, squeaky clean day!
| |
| As you grow up | 8/31/2005 | As you grow up, we will learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it will hurt more every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Make it a great day but more importantly make it a great life!
| |
| Don't give up! | 8/31/2005 | Don’t give up, shut up, let up, kiss up or mess up.
Instead you stand up, start up, heat up, follow up and rise up.
If you have passion, you’ll have commitment…because passion drives commitment.
| Doctor |
| Road to success | 8/26/2005 | The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a
loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called
Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called
Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will
make it to a place called Success.
| Sandra W |
| Being Black in the Workplace | 8/26/2005 | Being Black in the Work Place
They take my kindness for weakness.
They take my silence for speechless.
They consider my uniqueness strange.
They call my language slang.
They see my confidence as conceit.
They see my mistakes as defeat.
They consider my success accidental.
They minimize my intelligence to "potential".
My questions mean "I'm unaware".
My advancement is somehow unfair.
Any praise is preferential treatment.
To voice concern is discontentment.
If I stand up for myself, I'm too defensive.
If I don't trust them, I'm too apprehensive.
I'm defiant if I separate.
I'm fake if I assimilate.
Yet, constantly I am faced with work place hate.
My character is constantly under attack.
Pride for my race makes me, "TOO BLACK".
Yet, I can only be me. And, who am I you might ask?
I am that Strong Black Person...
Who stands on the backs of my ancestor's achievements, with an
erect spine pointing to the stars with pride, dignity and respect
which lets the work place in America know, that I not only possess
the ability to play by the rules, but I can make them as well!
Black History 365
P.S. Morning everyone, This information is so true, but despite all of the things they may think about us, be PROUD of who we are. Be christ like first and Black second, then play by the rules, beat them at their own game and help someone else learn them. WE are all in this together. All shades of blacks!
| Sandra W |
| What we need to do! | 8/25/2005 | Teach our children to speak English.
>
>When the teacher calls, show up at the school.
>
When the idiot box starts spewing profane rap
videos, turn it off.
Refrain from cursing around the kids.
Teach our boys that women should be cherished,
not raped and demeaned.
Tell them that education is a prize we won with
blood and tears, not a dishonor.
Stop making excuses for the agents and abettors
of black-on-black crime.
It costs us nothing to do these things.
But if we don't, it will cost us infinitely more tears.
I encourage you to ... pass this one on. | BC |
| A Woman's Poem | 8/20/2005 | He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
| |
| Men & Church | 8/18/2005 | I am ALSO one of those sisters who show up on Sunday morning without my husband and there is nothing that would make me happier than to have him by my side, in the house of the Lord. Though it has been years, “Bob”, I believe the Lord keeps sending us to be the guide to bringing them in, so please do keep going and HE will strengthen you as you endure.
Too many men (husbands, fathers, sons, grandsons, nephews, cousins) are not gathering with us to the point of living miserable stress filled lives until they either die from it or get so sick before they feel they have to submit and come to the Lord, as a last resort. And the Lord will still accept them.
A man will live a life of tremendous stress and constant inner turmoil under the guise of “life is so hard being a Man” instead of submitting to the will of GOD and leaning on HIS word for strength. We women are able to bear so much of life’s less than perfect times because of our biblical role in submission. The ability to understand and bask in HIS joy is because we realize the enormity of this blessing. Yes ladies we are different, we are willing to listen and adhere to good guidance other than our own.
Ladies, though we are NOT responsible for our men’s souls and they must have their own personal relationship with the Lord, please be careful in how you portray your church life. They hear the gossip you bring home, they hear the less than favorable comments about the different members of the flock and 99% of the time they use it to justify and add to their reasoning for not going. Unfortunately it doesn’t take much.
Men naturally envy anybody looking at their “good-looking, well-dressed woman” and baby, you know WE look GOOOOD every Sunday morning. Be discreet, stay positive and filled with the Holy Spirit and maybe, just maybe his ego-mania will get the best of him and bring him in, before he gets to the point of last resort.
Stay in Prayer
| |
| Men & Church | 8/18/2005 | I am ALSO one of those sisters who show up on Sunday morning without my husband and there is nothing that would make me happier than to have him by my side, in the house of the Lord. Though it has been years, “Bob”, I believe the Lord keeps sending us to be the guide to bringing them in, so please do keep going and HE will strengthen you as you endure.
Too many men (husbands, fathers, sons, grandsons, nephews, cousins) are not gathering with us to the point of living miserable stress filled lives until they either die from it or get so sick before they feel they have to submit and come to the Lord, as a last resort. And the Lord will still accept them.
A man will live a life of tremendous stress and constant inner turmoil under the guise of “life is so hard being a Man” instead of submitting to the will of GOD and leaning on HIS word for strength. We women are able to bear so much of life’s less than perfect times because of our biblical role in submission. The ability to understand and bask in HIS joy is because we realize the enormity of this blessing. Yes ladies we are different, we are willing to listen and adhere to good guidance other than our own.
Ladies, though we are NOT responsible for our men’s souls and they must have their own personal relationship with the Lord, please be careful in how you portray your church life. They hear the gossip you bring home, they hear the less than favorable comments about the different members of the flock and 99% of the time they use it to justify and add to their reasoning for not going. Unfortunately it doesn’t take much.
Men naturally envy anybody looking at their “good-looking, well-dressed woman” and baby, you know WE look GOOOOD every Sunday morning. Be discreet, stay positive and filled with the Holy Spirit and maybe, just maybe his ego-mania will get the best of him and bring him in, before he gets to the point of last resort.
Stay in Prayer
| |
| Tips to Save Gas and Improve Mileage | 8/15/2005 |
What can I do to save gas?
• Walk, bike, take a bus, or carpool when possible. Use your car only when necessary. Public transportation authorities often have carpooling information as well as transit services. If you own more than one vehicle, drive the one that gets the best gas mileage whenever possible.
• Combine errands into one trip. Consolidate trips to destinations that are near one another. Once you arrive, park and walk between destinations. Save errands for one afternoon and plan your trip so you don’t
retrace your route. You not only save gas this way, but reduce wear-and-tear on your car.
• Drive your car wisely and maintain it properly. The way you drive and take care of your car can make a big difference in your gas mileage.
What can I do to get better gas mileage when I drive?
You can greatly improve your mileage by having your car serviced regularly and by driving wisely. Any of these eight points can help improve your mileage:
• Go easy on the brakes and gas pedal. Avoid “jackrabbit” starts by accelerating gradually whenever possible. Also, anticipate stops to avoid sudden braking.
• Avoid long idles. Turn off the engine if you anticipate a lengthy wait. Instead of idling at a drive-up window, park the car and go in. Idling burns more gas than restarting the engine. Limit car warm-ups in winter.
• Avoid carrying unneeded items in the trunk. Extra weight decreases gas mileage. Also, reduce drag by placing items inside the car or trunk rather than on roof racks.
• Avoid high speeds. You can improve your gas mileage about 15 percent by driving at 55 mph rather than 65 mph.
• Use your air conditioning only when necessary. Roll down the windows or open the air vents to keep your car comfortable on not-so-hot days.
• Use overdrive. If your car is equipped with overdrive gearing (on 5-speed manual transmissions and 4-speed automatic transmissions), be sure to make use of the overdrive gear as soon as your speed is high enough. If you have a manual transmission, the lower the shift speed, the better the fuel economy.
Your owner’s manual will give you further information.
• Keep tires properly inflated and aligned. Periodic wheel alignments and keeping tires inflated to the maximum recommended pressure can improve your gas mileage.
• Get regular engine tune-ups and car maintenance checks. Tune ups improve performance as well as gas mileage. Check your owner’s manual for Recommended maintenance schedules. By following the manufacturer’s recommendations, you should avoid fuel economy problems due to worn spark plugs,
dragging brakes, low transmission fluid, or the transmission not going into high gear.
What should I consider when buying a new car?
• Understand your needs and buy accordingly. Get only the options you really need. Optional equipment that adds weight to your car can decrease your gas mileage (especially heavy options such as four-wheel drive). Automatic transmissions generally degrade fuel economy. Larger engines and higher horse-power
typically result in lower gas mileage. If you need the additional power and torque, be aware your gas mileage will suffer during all types of driving.
• Check the gas mileage ratings of similar vehicles. Buy a fuel efficient model in the size category that meets your needs. The Federal Gas Mileage Guide, issued annually and free of charge at all auto dealerships, compares gas mileage of similar models.
This will be placed in our positive words section on willisdacrooner.com for the world to see and act on!
| |
| Psalm 23 (for the Work Place) | 8/12/2005 | The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without
murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that he is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions
that I might honor him in all that I do.
Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system
crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping
co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body
that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---
for He is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power
will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens
to let me go. His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus
check.
His retirement plan beats every 401k there is!
When it's a ll said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot
longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!
| Lady M |
| To Love And Be Loved | 8/11/2005 |
I consider myself divinely blessed because the universe sent me a sanctified, purified, right-thinking, right-acting, sugar-coated, sweet smelling, God-sensitive, loving and lovable Black woman who, after 45 years, is still able to put some pep in my step, some glide in my stride and some sunshine on my mind! She is a phenomenal woman, a holy ghost-filled woman who stands not only by her man, but also with her man. My baby, after 45 years still has her mojo working!
She is a woman who loves to be loved! And she knows how to love! She also knows the distinct difference between agitation and adulation. She knows how to be a woman! Now that is the real secret to sustaining a positive relationship…how to be your authentic self!!
I know of no greater blessing than to love and be loved by a soul mate who will love and cherish you just the way you are, not the way she or he wants you to be. Real love, therefore, must extend beyond physical attraction and personal intimacy. Sexual desires and sexual intimacy while normal and natural, cannot sustain a harmonious relationship.
Sex may be, and often is, the perfect combination that brings two people together, but it is not the vital link that will maintain that bond forever. Whitney may sing her heart out about “good loving is all I need”, but history teaches us that good loving also has certain limitations.
There comes a time when the sex urge surrenders to the passage of time. What do you do when the urge disappears? When the fire flickers and flames out? When your sugar pie balloons from a sexy size 8 to a jolly 22? Those once passionate evenings of steamy lovemaking now reside in the dark shadows of a distant memory. Time, you see, erases everything, the good, the bad, and even the beautiful!
But true love, real love, between a man and women is a sure thing. Not even death, the great equalizer, can wipe out true love. True love is, of course, universal love and as such, is not limited by time, space, condition or circumstance. True love is supreme love, the kind that last forever. Jesus, for example, exemplifies true love. His life, I believe is one worthy of emulation. You never forget this kind of love. Life becomes one happy, extended journey when one becomes more Christ-like by walking, talking, teaching and preaching like Jesus. Wasn’t Jesus all about love?
| John R |
| HOW TO STAY YOUNG | 7/31/2005 | 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and
height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this
In mind if you are one of those grouches)
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. if you
have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time
with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who
is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. | Rose |
| Enough | 7/27/2005 | Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their
last moments
> >together at the airport. They had announced the
departure.
> >
> >Standing near the security gate, they hugged and
the mother said "I
> >love you and I wish you enough."
> >
> >The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has
been more than
> >enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you
enough, too,
Mom."
> >
> >They kissed and the daughter left. The mother
walked over to the
> >window where I was seated.
> >
> >Standing there I could see she wanted and needed
to cry. I tried
not
> >to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in
by asking "Did you
> >ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be
forever?"
> >
> >"Yes, I have, " I replied "Forgive me for asking
but why is this a
> >forever good-bye?".
> >
> >"I am old and she lives so far away. I have
challenges ahead and
the
> >reality is - the next trip back will be for my
funeral" she said.
> >
> >"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say 'I
wish you
enough'.
> >May I ask what that means?".
> >
> >She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been
handed down from
> >other generations. My parents used to say it to
everyone". She
paused
> >a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it
in detail
> >
> >and she smiled even more.
> >
> >"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting
the other person
to
> >have a life filled with just enough good things to
sustain them".
Then
> >turning toward me she shared the following as if
she were reciting
it
> >from memory
> >
> >I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude
bright.
> >I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
> >I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit
alive.
> >I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in
life appear
much
> >bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your
wanting. I wish you
> >enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I
wish you enough
> >hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
> >
> >She then began to cry and walked away.
> >
> >They say it takes a minute to find a special
person, an hour to
> >appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an
entire life to
forget
> >them.
> >
> >TAKE TIME TO LIVE
> >
> >To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU
ENOUGH!!!
| TA |
| My Rules | 7/18/2005 | Rules from God
1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance;
but the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant
for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3
4. Stand Up!!...
For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything..
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."
Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up !!...
To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
6. Reach Up !!...
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up !!...
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything;
instead PRAY ABOUT
EVERYTHING."
Philippians 4:6
| GOD |
| God ! | 7/14/2005 |
Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for? THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to? THAT'S GOD wanting you to talk to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them? THAT'S GOD. There is no such thing as coincidence.
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you needed, but couldn't afford? THAT'S GOD knowing the desires of your heart.
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better, how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it. .
THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
| |
| TIPS FOR THE LADIES | 7/13/2005 | If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
(Hallelujah, thank you Lord!)
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
| Eby |
| Wise Words | 7/13/2005 | 1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be
still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy
your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just
hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be
sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The
goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn
from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your
character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what
others think you are.
| |
| TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY. | 7/11/2005 | TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY.
> >
> > 1. God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many
people
> > you drove who didn't have transportation.
> >
> > 2. God won't ask the square footage of your house. He'll ask how
many
> > people you welcomed into your home.
> >
> > 3. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet. He'll
ask
> > how many you helped to clothe.
> >
> > 4. God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you
> > compromised your character to obtain it.
> >
> > 5. God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you
performed
> > your job to the best of your ability.
> >
> > 6. God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many
people
> > to whom you were a friend.
> >
> > 7. God won't ask in what neighbourhood you lived. He'll ask how you
> > treated your neighbours.
> >
> > 8. God won't ask about the colour of your skin. He'll ask about the
> > content of your character.
> >
> > 9. God won't ask why it took you so long to seek salvation. He'll
> > lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven and not to the gates of
> > Hell.
> >
> > 10. God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to. He
> > already knows whether or not you are ashamed to share this
information
> > with your friends. | |
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